I feel so much lighter and I can smile again.

Ife’s mum, Sade, contacted LOHA when Ife was 11 years old and was extremely anxious about starting at secondary school. Sade had noticed scratches on Ife’s arms, and that she refused to wear T-shirts – even on the hottest of summer days. As the summer went on, Ife became increasingly reclusive, hidden away in her bedroom. 

Sade had taken Ife to the family doctor but he could not offer any support. Ife did not meet the criteria for referral to CAMHS. Sade decided to look for alternatives with an on-line search and found LOHA. Sade liked the idea of LOHA because it meant that she could do the Systemic Therapy activities when it suited her and Ife. Sade could also join a group of parents to learn more about how she could help Ife but it was fairly anonymous. The chances of meeting another parent she knew, on-line, in the same programme was highly unlikely.

As a health professional, Sade was also very busy – she appreciated the flexibility of having the sessions online and being able to do the Systemic Therapy activities in her own time. It meant she could choose a day and time that suited her work commitments, and she did not have to factor in travel time. This way, she didn’t have to lose half a day (at least) traveling to and from a venue.

Through the programme, Sade had been concerned whether the difference in her and Ife’s ethnicity and culture might make a difference. What she found was she could talk openly about her experiences and the difference. This seemed to help the other parents, and she also learnt a lot from them. 

At the end of the programme, Sade was sad to see it finish although her daughter now rarely self-harmed, she had settled at school and was much more engaged in family life.  Sade said “LOHA has taken a huge weight off my shoulders…. I feel so much lighter and I can smile again”.