"She laughs, we have fun together. I thought I'd never get that back."

Anna is the Mum to 16-year-old Sarah – and was at a complete loss when she contacted us.

Her daughter Sarah was cutting herself almost every day. She was often shut away in her bedroom not having much to do with her siblings. Sarah would occasionally go to Accident & Emergency because of her physical wounds. However, there was little help available for Sarah emotionally and psychologically.

They had been referred to the local CAMHS service, but the waiting list was 18 months long, and they needed help much sooner. Anna was embarrassed to go to her family or friends – she didn’t want judgement of both her or her daughter. Anna’s own mom thought Sarah was just looking for attention and told her to be stricter – but Anna knew that was not the answer.  

When she came across LOHA, Anna was unsure. She had doubts about whether the programs would be helpful (“it’s online, not in-person, how useful could that be?”). She was also worried it would be embarrassing to talk to other parents about her family issues and felt like Sarah should be the one getting help, not her. 

But she decided to give it a try – she could stop if it wasn’t working. When she came to the first session, she was part of a group of 4 other parents. It was difficult. She felt shame, guilt, even some anger that she needed to be there. The Systemic Therapy also helped Anna to begin to connect to Sarah and she began to talk more to her Mum.

As the session went on, though, she realised she wasn’t alone. The other parents felt the same way. They had similar emotions and experiences – though differing views sometimes. She realised she was learning a lot from the other parents and the therapist. By the end of the first sessions, she already had steps she could apply to her situation with her daughter.

Over the next six weeks, Anna found she could help her daughter. By the third session, she said “I’m beginning to get my daughter back”. By week six, Anna said, “my daughter rarely self-harms now – she laughs, we have fun together. I thought I’d never get that back. I could shout your name from the rooftops – you have made such a difference to my life and to Sarah’s.”